Do I tell him, or keep it the way it is?

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Permalink Reply by Vanessa on June 21, 2009 at 7:48pm

If this situation is eating at you don't be afraid to get some answers. Don't let this issue lay out in the dark; if you want to get some serious answers then the both of you should have a serious talk. Just tell him how you feel and if he rejects you then you'll know the truth. Justify that you don't want the relationship to change (whether he likes you back or not). Have a serious game plan: Do you like him as a crush or are you considering a serious relationship? Also determine the purpose of the talk: is it to jumpstart a new relationship? Or is it to get him to stop acting like a jerk or both? Try not to bring in any third parties along as this might make his responses questionable (acting a certain way to please someone). Set the pace by handling any questions or conversation in a mature and clear manner. Just be straight forward and be yourself! And most of all be confident! Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Rosemarie Montez on June 22, 2009 at 9:25am

This is definitely a tough situation, especially if you value each other's friendship. But, being honest with one another is what a good friendship and relationship is all about. Sit him down, let him know that you've had some stuff on your mind (and your heart) and that you respect him enough to be honest with him. Now, if he holds that same type of honesty and respect for you then he will be patient and listen to you. Then afterwards he will hopefully be just as up-front with you. Once everything is out in the open you both can decide what would be best for your friendship AND each other.
It's true, some friendships get 'weird' after a situation like yours, but there are also some that get stronger. It's also been true in some cases that when a relationship is real good it may be because the couple started out as friends first.
Nonetheless, every situation is different, but honesty goes a long way. If your confession does get in the way of your friendship then perhaps his commitment to the friendship isn't as solid as your commitment.
Keep smiling...;)
RM

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Permalink Reply by Latinitas Magazine Intern on June 22, 2009 at 12:23pm

A very hard question. I agree with Vanessa in that you should think about what you hope to get out of the conversation and the relationship first. When you know what you want, it'll be easier to explain to him what you want and how you're feeling.

As long as he doesn't feel backed up into a wall and the friendship is strong, then you guys will be fine either way it turns out. Remember, the relationships that last the longest are the ones that are based on friendship.

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Permalink Reply by Sara Elizabeth Sanchez on June 22, 2009 at 9:15pm

I have been in your exact situation! You know guys. They can be so indecisive. If your friendship is a strong one, it's probable that it will last through you telling him that you like him. Love shouldn't have to hurt though! Try sitting down with him and just talking about "life," including your feelings for other people, or each other. If he's not willing to talk, reconsider whether he is worth your time. I agree with Pamela Isita, there are definitely more fish in the sea. So don't let him get you down! :)

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Permalink Reply by Silvana on June 27, 2009 at 8:23pm

The fact that he makes fun of you and then gets mad when you do flirt, means that he is interested too (even if he doesn't admit it even to himself). Making fun of you with other guys is his way of "testing the waters" to see how you react, to see if you are really interested in some other guy. You could use those moment to flirt back at him, example>

Him - (making fun of her) ooh! I saw you watching at that guy, he's hot, isn't he? You want me to present him to you? I can go get him for you
Her - but darling, I want no one but you ;)

This sort of matter-of-fact/sarcastic/flirting answer will let him doubting but will probably also give him some hints. But yeah, agreeing with Rosemarie, you can always tell him and talk it honestly. The fact that you mention that he sometimes acts as a jerk worries me, though. You deserve better than that, and some guys are not as mature as us or believe somehow that's the way they should behave to get us - under the known phrase of "girls like the bad guys". Don't accept less than what you deserve. You can try always to tell him, but if it's in his nature to be a jerk then better do look for some other fish. But maybe he will understand the situation and grow with you into a even better relationship :)

Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by angelica on July 30, 2009 at 12:32pm

I say you go for it tell what you truly feel. If he is a real man he will tell you the real felling behind this situation. This has happened to me its hard telling the guy what you really feel. I believe that we should always take the risk. If you never take the risk you will never know what would've happened. If he doesnt do any thing you'll notice hes not a true friend or a real man.

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Permalink Reply by Lupe Anchondo on August 15, 2009 at 8:55am

eeee this sounds so like my situation my brothers best friend was a good friend of mine and we sometimes hated each other but i always liked him and he was funny and nice to me too and thought he liked me too. So the only thing u can do is talk to him and tell him that u like him or wut he feels for u. Its better to get it out or else it will be too late and never know wut will happen. Plus u guys are friends and that wont change at all. Right now we have been together for 2 yrs and known each other for 2 and 1/2. u have to risk it to get the biscuit girly. lol

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Permalink Reply by Loida E. Martinez on September 28, 2009 at 7:14pm

Hey Sarah, i have been in this situation myself before.... it is a difficult one. But if it is something you really want to do, tell him. But always keep in mind, it can go two ways, he feels the same way or doesn't. I think either way, if you guys are good friends you guys should always remain friends. But let him know that he probably shouldn't be acting like a jerk with you. You shouldn't have to deal with that from anyone.
=) Good Luck.

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Permalink Reply by Guadalupe Martinez on October 1, 2009 at 4:46pm

I really think you should talk with him about your true feelings cz to me this sounds like he likes u but he is kind of in the same situation as you! maybe he doesnt want to ruin the friend ship u both have or maybe he is affraid of a rejction.

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